Plopsaland

My relationship with theme parks is simple: they build increasingly ridiculous rides, and I volunteer as tribute. I have loved them since childhood, and I recall many a inset day off school and weekend spent visiting parks across the UK. I am never quite sure whether my parents (usually my mother) really enjoyed these trips, but I hope they did, as we went A LOT. Many of these parks remain to this day, whilst some, alas, do not (RIP American Adventure). My first ever theme park (if memory serves me correctly) was a rainy weekend at Efteling in the Netherlands when I was five years old. It was this adventure to the magical land of myths, legends, fairy tales, fables, and folklore, spread amongst the Dutch forest, that made me fall in love with rollercoasters and the adrenaline rush of them clanking up the lift hill.

Despite enjoying Efteling, and excluding the odd visit to Disneyland and one to Duinrell and Europa Park with a friend from childhood, I have not been to any other theme parks in continental Europe.

It is 2026, and we are planning a family holiday. I’ve convinced everyone that an exciting adventure would be to visit a European theme park and stay at their hotel for a few nights. We’re saving Disneyland for a later trip when the kids are a bit older, and I wanted to avoid long drives or multiple transportation changes.

I had heard of Plopsaland a couple of times before, but never really paid it much attention. The park is based just outside the town of Le Panne in north-west Belgium, less than an hour from the port of Calais. It came out as the best option after comparing prices and routes with a few other parks for a family theme park trip. It also features Plopsaqua, an attached indoor water park that was included with our stay.

We booked the Theatre Hotel at Plopsaland on half-board during a UK school half-term. Getting there was very easy - we chose to drive and use the Le Shuttle to cross the Channel. For us, excluding the train, the drive time was roughly the same as to Alton Towers in Staffordshire, and the train was a welcome break in the journey. One thing to remember when driving on the continent is to ensure your car has the additional safety equipment required by the countries you are driving in. In our case, this meant high-vis jackets, warning triangles and a UK sticker attached to the rear of the vehicle. If you choose public transport, you can take the Eurostar from London to Brussels Midi, then a local train to De Panne, where the station is a very short walk to the park.

We set off early in the morning to get to Folkestone as early as possible. Having never taken Le Shuttle before, I can thoroughly recommend reading the instructions before you arrive. We went through check-in, but somehow accidentally ended up going straight to passport control two hours early instead of waiting at the terminal. As luck would have it, they managed to squeeze us onto an earlier train, but I would not advise risking this. Apart from that, the rest of the journey was very easy. We left the Calais terminal for Le Shuttle and went straight into the French dual carriageways heading East. You need to pay close attention to the speed limits that change frequently and are, of course, in km/h.

Plopsaland is a straight drive on the A16 from Calais to De Panne and took us about an hour. We pulled into De Panne and found the hotel car park easily and parked up in the baking heat. A very friendly staff member saved us from mistakenly walking into the hotel staff entrance and directed us to the lobby. As we had arrived much earlier than expected, it was too early to check in, so we went for a swim at Plopsaqua next door.

As we entered Plopsaqua, a few other non-Europeans had fallen afoul of the European rule on swim shorts in pools. In summary, for men, it is tight-fitting shorts or trunks only. The rule always seems a bit odd to me, but if you read your pre-arrival info carefully, it does mention this (turns out I do read the instructions sometimes). I clumsily spoke my best French to the desk attendant, who instantly realised I was English, replied in English, and let us in. We grabbed a locker token and went into the pool.

I did not know what to expect from Plopsaqua - it was a unique pool, mostly aimed at children who are comfortable swimmers, about 1m tall and above. But there are activities for children of all ages, as well as a sauna and a wave pool with a rainstorm. My eldest daughter loved the rapids ride, and my youngest loved the wave pool and baby pool. It does feel a bit like it is missing slides for younger children, but overall, we thoroughly enjoyed it. We even had lunch there to refuel. One thing that slightly let the whole resort down was how challenging it was to figure out food allergies in the menus. The UK has become pretty good at this recently, but the Flemish solution was a large book, mostly in Dutch, which required careful comparison to determine which dishes contained which allergens.

After our swim, it was time to head to our room. The check-in desk staff were lovely and told us everything we needed to know, and off we went to our standard room for a family of four. I appear to be cursed by hotels in that we always get the room farthest from reception, and this was no exception. After our pilgrimage down the magnificent hotel corridors, we were delighted with our home for the next three nights. The room was spacious, clean and even had a fridge - I wish I had known the mineral water in it was free though. We had added the Plopsacookies and a cot for the room, and both were there - you would be amazed how many hotels forget the cot.

We went down for dinner, which was a large buffet with a variety of foods. Allergens suffered from the same problem here as the pool, but there was plenty to refuel the children. Buffets at these places are great as they put so much less pressure on the meal and picking meals for your children who immediately get food envy and eat yours or go on a proverbial hunger strike and eat nothing. Nonetheless, we enjoyed our meal and explored the rest of the hotel. It was a magnificent building; I just wish it had more in the way of child entertainment, although we were there off-season.

We went to bed and slept like logs that night with an early start for our first theme park day. After getting ready, it was back to the restaurant for breakfast, a buffet of continental and cooked items. Again, allergies were awkward, but we managed and filled up our water bottles for the park.

We grabbed our day bags from the room and headed to the hotel theme park entrance. This is a dedicated entrance next to the main entrance and gets you in slightly faster. Our first day consisted of heading to rides both children could enjoy - this included the smaller rollercoasters, boat rides and the odd fairground-style attraction. There was very little queuing, with nearly everything walk-on. Some rides suffer from the bane of all theme park veterans, and didn't open till later in the day. I understand this, but I still hate it, especially when the weather is 30 degrees and all the big water rides are shut.

Eventually, I managed to sneak off and do a couple of big rollercoasters, and let me tell you, the park's centrepiece rollercoaster, "The Ride to Happiness", has now become my favourite coaster. It is a Mack Rides extreme spinning coaster with multiple launches and inversions, meandering through the middle of the park like a vengeful tornado. It is absolutely a ride to avoid right after lunch (unless your average commuter journey is some form of space shuttle launch), but it is an experience packed with thrills and different each time I ride it.

Lunch in the off-season (at least as far as savoury options go) is pretty much limited to burgers, hot dogs, or chicken nuggets with fries. There were plenty of other food venues, but most were closed, so brace yourself for that.

As the afternoon approached, the water rides opened, and we spent our time splashing into various bodies of water like waterfowl after a lengthy migration. The dinosaur-themed log flume was a highlight of the trip for all of us. Even once you have ridden it, it is nice to sit with an ice cream and watch other boats splash down. Ironically, the ride that appears to get you the least wet of the water rides is the "super splash", but it, too, is still great fun.

We spent our day hopping around various other rides before heading back to the hotel after the park closed - take note, Alton Towers, that is at 5pm even on an off-peak day!

Dinner was much the same as the previous night, although we went in with a higher level of buffet efficiency. Allergies do continue to present a difficulty at the restaurants here, but we had got better at knowing what to get. As expected, the kids ate some of the healthier food before filling up, then magically acquired a second stomach for the chocolate fountain.

On the second day, we filled in the gaps of all the rides we missed on the first day. Even on a quiet day, there is a lot to get around, and you can comfortably fill two days as a family. For teenagers, this would probably be a stretch, but we had a great time from soaking other pirates on "Wickie the Battle" to getting our skates on "K3 Roller Skater".

On our final half-day, we discovered a few more rides near the entrance in an indoor area of the park that also featured the parent-dreaded soft play and slides. Overall, though, it was excellent, and we made the best of our time, promising our disheartened children on departure that we would one day return.

We made our way back to the car and the easy drive back to Calais. We arrived at (dare I say it) the much better organised French Le Shuttle terminal and, despite a busy terminal building and some delays in boarding, got back to England in good time. The hardest part of the whole trip was just the drive back from Folkestone to home and realising we forgot to pay for the Dartford tunnel crossing on the way out.

In summary, it was a fantastic trip, and we will likely return. The following are a few pointers we thought might help future visitors.

• You can easily make two days of the park and a half-day of the water park.
• Getting there by road or rail is very easy and directions are very clear.
• I would advise booking half-board at the hotel and brushing up on your Dutch to ask about allergy information.
• Remember you cannot wear baggy swim shorts in the pool gentlemen
• Bring bottled water as obtaining in the park (without buying it) can be difficult. I also believe small children with sensitive stomachs will have an easier time with this
• The park app is not great and helping you find your way round so have a good look before you arrive to understand where the main attractions are
• The fancy milkshakes most sweet stalls sell are excellent
• Support for food allergies is limited so I would advise bringing your own substitutes where possible (milk, bread etc)
• Once you do book be prepared for your social media to bombard you with adverts blasting out the "WELCOME WELCOME, WELCOME TO PLOPSALAND" song